Are you seeking comfort by doing something over and over again?

Are you feeling compelled to do something repeatedly even if those actions appear to be irrational or pointless?

Are you trying to soothe yourself but the behaviors are creating more problems?

Are you worried about stopping out of fear of feeling worse again?

A compulsive behavior is an action that a person feels “compelled” or driven to do over and over again. The behavior often functions as a way to achieve comfort or soothing. While these compulsive actions can appear to be irrational or pointless, and may even result in negative consequences, the individual experiencing the compulsion feels unable to stop.

Compulsions are a way to self-sooth. Self-soothing is natural.

Self-soothing is as natural to people as breathing. Even as infants, we quickly learn the soothing results of sucking our thumb when our mother’s nipple isn’t available. As we grow, our repertoire expands as our world expands. The soft touch of a flannel blanket or a plush toy may be our next source of comfort and emotional support. For many of us, food and drink are the go-to sources of comfort beyond our bodies.

Sometimes, however, self-soothing can become a problem if over-used.

Especially when we are trying to cope on our own with symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, depression, or other related mental health challenges. Sometimes self-soothing behaviors can be over-used and end up creating more problems for us.

What are some common self-soothing behaviors?

• Shopping: Often excessive shopping or buying behavior that leads to distress or impairment.

• Eating: Frequently consuming unusually large amounts of food and feel unable to stop eating. People may also not eat or “restrict” food(s) as a way to soothe.

• Substance Use: Compulsively using substances (Ex: alcohol) and it could also become a physiological dependency (or ‘addiction’) to that substance.

• Self-mutilation: Repeatedly cut themselves with a sharp instrument, such as a knife or razor. Others may stick themselves with pins or burn themselves.

• Gambling: Often excessive gambling that leads to significant distress.

• Sexual Activity: It's an intense focus on sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors that can't be controlled. This causes distress and problems for health, job, relationships or other parts of life.

How can you help me find relief?

I approach treating compulsive behaviors and chemical dependency with an individualized approach as every person has a different experience.

I often utilize my training in Internal Family Systems to work with compulsive behaviors and chemical dependency. IFS recognizes that parts of us can become “extreme” and feel like they are creating all kinds of problems in our lives. When But in their natural states, parts of us can perform roles that are healthy and functional.

The IFS model also brings healing to the wounds that are driving the self-soothing behavior. The IFS model brings clarity and compassion to the extreme self-soothing behaviors while also challenging them to serve our lives in more functional ways.

I’m worried about being judged.

I hear this often. When we are struggling with a compulsive behavior, we often feel shame or guilt about engaging in those behaviors. I hold a non-judgmental stance as a therapist. You can feel confident that I can help you with these behaviors in a loving way without fear of being shamed or judged.